Jo Talks Books: On How Being A Bookworm Has Given Me Unrealistic Expectations

Hi everyone! Before I start today’s post, I have some great news to share with you all. I have officially reached my second blogiversary! Technically, I first started this blog on 13th February 2014, but I didn’t post yesterday and WordPress seems to think my anniversary is today, so I’m going to celebrate it today (I find it kind of ironic that the anniversary of my blog falls on this day given that I hate Valentine’s Day with a passion, but hey, what can you do?). I just want to say thank you to everyone who has followed my blog in the last two years, it really means a lot to me. 168 followers may not seem like a lot to bigger, more established blogs but it is a lot to me. I never expected more than a couple of people to look at this blog, so the fact that so many people have read, and hopefully enjoyed my blog over the past two years really means a lot. So thank you everyone and here’s to another successful year of blogging!

Anyway, back to the topic of discussion at hand, this week I’m going to be talking about how I think that being a bookworm has given me unrealistic expectations about love. I was talking to a friend of mine (who also loves books) about this a couple of months ago and when I decided to start doing discussion posts for this blog, I figured it would be a pretty interesting thing to talk about. I’m sure we’ve all noticed this, that the fictional guys we read about are far more perfect and swoonworthy than the guys we meet in real life. Now the realist in me knows that obviously fictional guys are more perfect that the guys we meet in real life, because they’re designed that way by authors, but still that doesn’t stop the hopeless romantic in me from wishing that real guys could be like the guys that I read about in books. I think by nature, bookworms are dreamers, or at least I know that’s definitely true of me, so of course we dream about the perfect guys we read about in books. I mean I know I would much rather go out with a Peeta Mellark than one of the douchey guys at my University. Sadly, guys like Peeta, who are sensitive, bake and paint and are sweet and loyal are few and far between. Guys like Dorian Havilliard, who love to read, which as a bookworm is my ultimate goal, to find a guy who loves to read as much as I do, in the real world, are unfortunately also few and far between, in fact when I told my friends that I wanted to find a guy who loves to read as much as I do, they laughed and said that would never happen. I said that I thought I could, but then I thought about it a bit more and I realised they were right. Whilst I’ve read books that have guys who like to read in them, in my real life, it’s never happened.

I mean who hasn’t imagined their crush from books saying the swoonworthy things that that they say to their significant other, to them instead? I definitely have, though I imagine the things that look romantic on paper would probably sound really cheesy coming out of a real guy’s mouth and there’s no way that guys in real life would actually say any of the things that our book boyfriends say. Still I can’t help but dream that some day a guy will tell me that he loves me in a really romantic way, like the guys I read about in books, or the guys I see in movies (please tell me I’m not the only one who has had the fantasy of a guy serenading me like Heath Ledger does in 10 Things I Hate About You), even if deep down, I know that real guys aren’t like that, as much as I wish they were!

And for another thing, I have yet to meet a guy who is as attractive as the guys I read about in books. What I wouldn’t give to find a real life Percy Jackson (obviously at the age he is at the end of the books, not at the beginning when he’s like 12), but unfortunately guys like that just don’t exist. I have yet to find a guy who is attractive and shares my snarky sense of humour and is sweet and goofy and loyal. That’s because real guys just aren’t that perfect, in fact, as I am slowly learning, you have to sift through all the assholes first before you find someone even worth considering and even then, they won’t be as perfect as the guys that you read about in the books you love (though don’t quote me on that, I’m still on the sifting through the assholes phase, I haven’t found anyone worth considering yet). I’m constantly being told that my standards are too high and I honestly think part of that comes from being a bookworm, because when I consistently read books with guys that if they existed in real life would be perfect for me, I can’t help but want to find a guy like that in real life, because despite the realist in me knowing that guys like that don’t exist, the bookworm in me wants to find one!

One of the best things about being a bookworm is being able to escape into all of the wonderful worlds that books give us and being able to meet and fall in love with all of the characters and I think our shared love of our fictional guys is a part of that. It’s nice just for a little while to be able to fantasize about these cute, lovely fictional guys and while yes, they definitely spoil real guys for me because no real guy is ever as perfect as one of my book boyfriends, I would not change them. Even if it is incredibly disappointing to find out that guys in real life are nowhere near as good as fictional guys. But if they were then we would have no need for our book boyfriends and I think all book lovers can agree we would not want to live in a world like that. Plus, as a girl, I think whether you are a bookworm or not, all of us dream about the perfect guy, I don’t know whether that’s because it’s what society drums into us or because it’s just in our nature, but I reckon all girls at some point in their lives dream about the perfect guy, in my case, the guys that I dream about just happen to be from books because I love reading so much and books are a huge influence on my life.

Still I don’t necessarily think that dreaming about finding a guy who is exactly like my book boyfriend is a bad thing. Sure you’re never going to find a guy exactly like the guys that you read about in books, but as much as I think being a bookworm has given me unrealistic expectations about love, I also think that being a bookworm has given me a better idea of what I want, and don’t want. Sure I’m never going to be able to find anyone as perfect as one of my book boyfriends, but if I can find someone who at least shares some traits, the most important traits that I like in guys, like being sweet and loyal and respectful and clever and sharing my snarky sense of humour, then I would be pretty happy. Books have also taught me a lot about the guys that I want to avoid, so for that I am incredibly grateful! I mean I know that if most of the fictional guys I love in books were real, then they probably wouldn’t be interested in me (that’s just the way things go), but dreaming is part of the fun of books!

So now it’s over to you! Do you agree with me that being a bookworm has given you unrealistic expectations about love? Who are your favourite book boyfriends? Any of you who do have significant others, are they at all similar to the guys you like in books or not? Would you prefer it if guys in books were more realistic or do you like them being unattainable perfect dream guys? Let’s discuss, I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

As I said in my last post, I will be continuing with my romance theme all through February and so with that in mind, I will be back with another romance themed discussion post for you guys next week, this time I shall be talking ships and my favourite romances from books. In the meantime though, I should hopefully have a review of Red Queen up for you guys very soon as I have almost finished it, so make sure you look out for that!




6 thoughts on “Jo Talks Books: On How Being A Bookworm Has Given Me Unrealistic Expectations

  1. SERIESous Book Reviews 15/02/2016 / 9:34 pm

    Romance novels have totally ruined my romantic life 😛

    It’s not even books either. I think TV shows and movies perpetuate that idea that when you meet that special someone, you’ll just know by one simple glance’ or that you can tame the moody, swoon-worthy bad guy; or pirates are real–and that SO isn’t how things work haha

    But at the same time, it’s fiction and it is supposed to be an escape so I don’t mind if people are “unrealistic” or “fantasy”. I think the problem is when you can’t separate fiction from reality (which is easier said than done sometimes I think) and when people feel like they have to live up to these standards.

    Of course, I say this now and if I look at my reviews, the number of times I complained about unrealistic relationships is probably more than a little hypocritical of me…

    • iloveheartlandx 16/02/2016 / 11:45 am

      I don’t read romance novels, but I definitely agree that a lot of the romances I’ve read in other books have also ruined my romantic life! Yeah TV and movies are definitely partially responsible for unrealistic expectations about romance. I totally agree, I don’t mind if people in books aren’t totally realistic (though I am also probably hypocritical as I’m sure I’ve complained in reviews about unrealistic relationships too) as long as you know that real life people are never going to be like that, it’s okay to have a little fantasy!

  2. Greg Hill 18/02/2016 / 6:16 am

    As a guy I probably have no business commenting on this one, but I’ll just say I get what you mean- being a bookworm can definitely spoil you for real life. I mean, like you said, an author can design a pretty good love interest (male or female), and in RL people like that are harder to find! A lot of guys don’t read, which is too bad, cause reading is influential. I know stuff I read as a kid I had role models from books that impacted me growing up. So yeah books can give us awfully high standards… but I think there are good people out there, it just takes time to find them. Anyway nice post- hope you don’t mind me commenting on this one. 🙂

    • iloveheartlandx 18/02/2016 / 10:26 am

      Obviously being a girl, I wrote this from a girl’s perspective, but I’m sure the problem can definitely work the other way around as well! Yeah I agree, it is definitely too bad that a lot of guys don’t read. Thank you! I appreciate your input 🙂

  3. englishstudens 21/02/2016 / 8:28 pm

    I’ve been insanely lucky: my boyfriend reads more than I do (and I read a lot), and I frequently find myself thinking that he’s just stepped from the pages of a book 🙂 And he is sweet and sensitive and clever – they are out there!

    • iloveheartlandx 22/02/2016 / 11:56 am

      Well that’s nice to hear! I hope I’m as lucky as you!

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